It's official. I've had it. What is the deal with everyone's obsession with Redbull? It's not even that good. I've tried it a couple of times. I would say it tastes like carbonated bubble gum spit...mixed with crap. Mot to mention that it contains products that have no long term testing.
The reason for this random post? A trip to the dollar store at Mall of America. My brother-in-law and I were in search of gum to relieve us from the Asian food court halitosis from which we were both suffering. So we hit the dollar store in search of an quick and affordable antidote. Alec (bro-in-law) selects what we both take to be a pack of cinnamon flavored Icy Breeze gum. Not a brand I'd ever heard of but hey, it's the dollar store. You can't be picky. I purchase the gum and we leave. We each had a piece and after walking about five steps we both knew there was something seriously wrong. Further review of the package showed that it was not in fact cinnamon flavored gum at all but rather it had no flavor label except that it boasted of having 57 mgs of taurine and 22 mgs of guarana extract per serving. IT WAS ENERGY GUM!
Really?? We need energy gum now? All the Redbull and Monster and Amped and Vault drinks aren't enough, we have to have it in a chewable form. Also since when is "57 mgs of taurine" considered a flavor? Needless to say it was disgusting and had the opposite effect from what we were going for.
As a dare we each chewed the rest of the pack (it was a double) until we couldn't stand it anymore (see picture at the top). We both felt jittery and weird for about an hour after that. Seriously, this craze is out of control. Someday someone is going to go into convulsions after drinking a Redbull while chewing taurine flavored Icy Breeze and then maybe the FDA will step in and put a stop to this madness.
Ok, I guess I'm really just upset about wasting $1.07 and having only a Redbull hangover and bad breath to show for it. The lesson in all of this? Make sure you read the label carefully when buying gum at the dollar store. You never know what you might be in for.
5 comments:
Your first clue should have been that a pack of gum cost $1.00 instead of $0.25
I hate the energy stuff because they jack up the price and try and make it sound like the stuff is really hard to make. NEWSFLASH: Taurine, which has the word urine in it, is the primary ingredient in your stomach bile. The shit is inexpensively made in huge quantities in Mexican labs. Secondly, guarna, which always reminds me of the word gonorrhea, grows everywhere like a weed. And it causes seizures.
Point being, the shit they load in energy drinks is not exotic, so why the hell do they charge $3 for an 8 oz can of shit?
nasty. I'm not a huge fan of gum anyway, but that just makes my jaw hurt and my stomach turn. and then dosy-do, then allemande left straight to the commode.
OMG!!!! I'm laughing so hard right now!!!! Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. You guys are hilarious.
I was trying to think of some sort of funny comeback but I have to say, the picture of you guys chewing what looks like 18 pieces of gum is hysterical. Then I read John's post and laughed my ass off. That's funny.
Man i hate energy drinks...I agree they taste like ASS completely nasty haven't showered for 5 days after playing pickup basketball every night ass!! I can't imagine how awful that gum must have been...
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